So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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