i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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