break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
