I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this beer tastes like vomit already
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
