that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
