she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
