Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
