You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
