I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
