it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
