he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
NoShamevember. You game?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
