There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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