I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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