Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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