Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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