Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
