I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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