dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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