Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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