Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
