If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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