how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Randomize
