im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
