What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
