Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
All I want is dick and wine.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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