No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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