I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
