absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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