Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
