I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
