oh god the rape fog is back!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
