Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
