So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
