There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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