worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
