when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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