if i can run in heels then i can drive
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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