my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
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