I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize