Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
