Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize