so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
