We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just cut my nipple shaving
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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