He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
