He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
