I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I want to have your abortion
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
