I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize