Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize