OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
