somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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