In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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