I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
