You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Blood and glitter go together right?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
