Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So squirting runs in the family.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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