Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
