New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
