I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
