After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
