I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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