Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
