So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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