saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize