Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
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made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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