It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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