we're chasing vodka with high fives
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
