You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
